Clever Magazine, Vol IV, #2 "Shark Attack!" (www.clevermag.com)

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Meet Carman Sharkana!

Warning: Silicon Valley Invaded by Sharks!
(reported by Diannek)

The sharks circling the waters off the Florida coast are nothing compared to the ones that are currently patrolling downtown San Jose, California. Four of these monsters of the deep were discovered in front of the San Jose Museum of Art, including Carman Sharkana, the well-known Spanish seductress shark.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Shark

This sky blue predator goes by the name of Twinkle Twinkle Little Shark, or Twinkie for short, because of its propensity for lunging at the lunchtime crowd in search of its favorite snack. Noon picnickers are being warned that Twinkie is finned and dangerous. As of August, 2001, there are no lifeguards on duty to protect the unwary.

Squalo's vital statistics are as follows:
6 feet long
Fiberglass
Markings: Blue paint
aka: Small Blue

Several Small poodles have been reported missing from the downtown San Jose neighborhood of trendy townhouses. The prime suspect is the benign looking shark who goes by the innocent-sounding name of Squalo.

Chinese Dragon Shark

The last of the fearsome art museum foursome is called Chinese Dragon, for obvious reasons. This monster strikes fear into the heart of even the bravest of art patron.

This reporter noticed several sharks lurking near park fountains where innocent children are at play under the watchful eyes of parents and tourists.
This shark lost its official label so I've decided to give it the temporary name of Martini Shark, because it lurks near a Fairmont Hotel bar where "Hand Stirred Martinis" are served. Notice the perfect disguise. An innocent bystander might mistake it for a tuna or a canary after lifting a few...

Even the San Jose Arena isn't safe from attack. The Arena, called the shark tank by most local folks, is the home of the San Jose Sharks hockey team. Two fiberglass monsters are nosing around the entrance. Recently, Joe Rodriguez, a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News, described the arena as looking like a dented can of tuna. Hmm, maybe he's onto something.

This one calls itself Sharks & Stripes.
The other one goes by Bamboo,
but this is not your ordinary wooden shark.

This school of sharks, some 40 by last report, is predicted to grow to an astonishing 100 before the end of the year. So, the next time you're in town, beware. You have been warned.

Click here if you'd like to read: San Jose, my home town