Wanna read the latest from Clever Magazine?
Click here and return to the coverpage!

The Copper Queen Mine Tour
Bisbee, Arizona
by John Fern

My wife, Peggy and I reside in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I am a machine operator for a small electronics factory and she works as a computer clerk. I love music, playing guitar and writing stories -- mostly non-fiction, and almost always with a bit of a humorous twist. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I have to keep asking the reader, "Well, don't ya get it? C'mon! It's a joke! Laugh! You're not laughing! It's funny! Trust me, it's funny! Laugh, Damn it!" 

"Are you claustrophobic?" my oldest brother asked me.

"No, I don't believe so, not since you used to lock me a closet as a kid for long periods of time. " I said.

"How about Peggy?" he then asked of my wife.

"No, she drives a Rabbit. Why do you ask?" I said.

He proceeded to tell me of a two-day trip that he was planning for us when we came out to visit him, my sister and their families in Phoenix, Arizona. It was an old copper mine tour in the town of Bisbee. We would be going deep into an abandoned mine shaft on a rail car, and the walls could get a little close at times, he told us.

The drive would take about two and a half hours but there would be plenty to see along the way. He promised a scenic view of all the wild flowers that would be blooming at that time of the year. We would pass through Tucson, Benson and Tombstone. I had visions of the gunfight at O.K. Corral, Boot Hill and the tortured souls of the men that were shot or hanged still haunting the small desert town.

There would be a stop along the way to see the Colossal Caves. And the town of Bisbee where the mine was located promised to be of interest to a us tourists from Minnesota who were looking to load up on souvenirs before heading back into the deep freeze of the Midwest. There were plenty of little shops, restaurants, bars, and hotels to accommodate us, and we were looking forward to the trip when our plane touched down at Sky Harbor airport.

After visiting with relatives and checking out the main attractions around Phoenix, Chandler, and Mesa; Bob, Peggy and I prepared to make the trip the next morning to Bisbee. We packed up everything we thought we'd need, plus a few flannel shirts and light jackets. He had warned us that it could get a little chilly down in the mines.

I told him, "Hey, we're Minnesotans! We'll wear t-shirts down there and still be comfy!" He wasn't impressed with our Midwest bravado.

"Bring the jacket anyway, tough guy, " He said. I asked Bob why we should leave the warm Arizona sun to venture into a cold mine.

"It's only for a couple of hours. You won't be disappointed," He assured me. The vision of the locked closet came back to me and I questioned his motives.

After breakfast we headed east on Highway 10. What we had hoped would be a scenic drive with desert wild flowers wasn’t to be. Because of the unusually dry winter, the flowers hadn’t reached their bloom yet. However, it was still a beautiful day that wouldn’t be denied. We passed the time with music and conversation and it seemed like no time at all before we reached the Colossal caves.

This proved to be an interesting tour, although we couldn’t help but notice that the tour guide seemed a little bitter over his ex-wife. “Now this here is a hole that has never been measured all the way to the bottom,” he said. “It would be a good place to throw my ex-wife.”

As we moved on to the next point of interest, he pointed out a stalactite in the shape of a witches head, hat and broom. “Hey, this reminds me of my ex-wife,” He told us.

It was also a lesson in history educating us about all the outlaws who used the cave as a hideout. When we heard that there was a fortune still down there from a bank robbery, we checked every nook and cranny. Much to our dismay, we didn’t find anything so we proceeded on to Tombstone.

My fantasy dream of an ‘Old West’ town was quickly shattered as we drove though Tombstone. This reminded me of most small towns I had seen that were a little slower to catch up to civilization. Oh, they had the typical tourist traps and souvenir shops but I guess I had seen too many old movies so my expectations were a bit high.

Even the actual “Boot Hill” cemetery was a bit of a let down. Most of the tombstones were actually metal pipes with the names freshly painted on for the tourists. There were a few actual grave markers made of wood with a clever epitaph but these were few and far between. Such as, “Here lies Les Moore. No Les No More.” We bought a few refrigerator magnets and left Tombstone with higher hopes for our next and final stop. It would only take about another forty-five minutes before we’d reach our destination.

Bisbee is a strange little town. There seems to be no order or structure to the streets and many of the houses are built on the side of the mountains that surround the town. Some look as if they were built yesterday and others have you scratching your head wondering what is holding them up there? When we arrived, a little past 4:00 PM, we noticed that most of the little shops were closed. A lot of them had shut their doors early, but there were enough still open to do more shopping.

After that, we went to the “Copper Queen” to try out their restaurant. We heard it was the nicest hotel in town and had a good reputation for dining. We were disappointed once again when we found that the main dining area was closed so we opted for the lunch area off to the side. 

After our early dinner, we found the “Bisbee Coffee Co.” that served a great chocolate mousse dessert. This went great with the Sumatra blend coffee that they were serving as the special of the day. Then we were off to our hotel, The Jonquil Inn. It was the cheapest in town. For $45.00, we got a queen size bed, a nice sized bathroom and cable TV with HBO! As if this wasn’t enough, they also supplied free coffee in the morning, which we would need before making our way out to the Copper mine. 

After our morning coffee at the Jonquil, we decided we’d give the Copper Queen dining room another try. We were pleased to find them open and had a buffet breakfast that was not to be outdone. We all had scrambled eggs with a choice of onions, mushrooms and peppers, hash browns, link sausages and toast.  Now we were ready for anything! Bring on the deep dark depths of the mine.

We began the tour at 10:30. Before we were to begin, we were outfitted with a yellow rain jacket, white hardhat, and minor’s lamp attached to a bulky battery that was attached to the belt that came with the jacket. After a short orientation from our tour director, a man who had worked down in the mine for twenty years, we all climbed aboard the train. It consisted of a series of rail cars, each with a long board to sit on and foot rests.  

As the main engine pulled us all into the mine at a casual speed, I could tell this was going to get interesting. I imagined what it would have been like for the miners on their first day traveling down into this dark pit. They had to make a living, but I could feel the knot in my stomach just as if I were riding down there to start a twelve hour shift that was common back in the old days.

The tour guide told us that it was a miserable existence for them all. Since it was a copper mine, it didn't pose the same risks that a coal mine does. However, since they did a lot of blasting to get to the copper and other iron ore minerals, the shafts were often filled with smoke and the ventilation was very poor.

The train came to a stop and we all dismounted our boards to climb a flight of stairs up to a makeshift lunchroom that the miners used. Basically, it was just a big hole that they blasted out and braced with beams. This gave our tour director a chance to see if everyone was all right before he gave us a quick tutorial on how the miners recognized the iron ore metals in the walls.  

Back on the train and deeper into the mine we rolled. I was glad I took my brothers advice and wore the flannel shirt and jacket. It was getting a little chilly down there even for a Minnesotan. I looked back behind me into the black hole and imagined the horror of a cave in. Being stuck in the belly of this beast after someone’s blasting went wrong would be a real nightmare.

We would make two more stops to hear about blasting procedures and how they would communicate with the men above. Also, we heard how mules were used to pull heavy rail cars filled with copper. The mules could pull six cars at a time, but if you tried to add a seventh, that mule would just stop and wait until it counted six cars again.  

When we’d gone in as far as we could, they told us that they'd have to turn the train around. We'd all have to wait down in the farthest part of the mine while they did that. After a few minutes of waiting, the conversation turned to nervous comments as everyone was wondering the same thing. “What if our ride doesn't come back?” Of course, it finally did and we all climbed aboard for the long ride out. We all dismounted our little rail cars and returned our gear before walking back out into the sunlight. It was beautiful!

I was left with a newfound understanding and deep respect for what the miners had to endure day after day. This was not an easy life, and many died down there. They did what they had to so they could make a living. It was all they knew. On the way back home, I thought about how often we complain about our jobs, mostly over little issues that may seem important to us at the time. I decided that when one of those issues came up again, I would still whine about it but now I’d feel a tad selfish complaining that the vending machine didn’t give me my little marshmallows along with my cup of hot chocolate.

For more information on the Copper Queen Mine Tour, check out the internet sites. Start your Yahoo Search with "Queen Mine Arizona"

Home | The Clever Archives | Contributors to Clever Magazine | Writers' Guidelines 
The Editor's Page | Humor Archive | Acknowledgements | About Clever Magazine | Contact Us

© No portion of Clever Magazine may be copied or reprinted without express consent of the editor.