Clever Magazine, Vol. IV, #10 "Researching Coke Facts" (www.clevermag.com)

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Coke Facts: a Clever investigation

by the Clever research team

The other day I received an anonymous email about Coca Cola. Some of the "Coke Facts" sounded amazing, so amazing in fact, that the Clever research team went right to work to see if we could replicate some of the more outlandish claims. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before you read about our actual research, here are the "so-called facts" about Coke ~

Coke Facts:
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in 2 days.
3. To clean a lavatory: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the lavatory bowl and
let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in the coke removes stains from vitreous China.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a
crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola
over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the
rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap
the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for
sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of
greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The
Coke will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from
your windshield.

FYI:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also bleaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
2. To carry concentrated Coke syrup, the commercial truck must use the hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years.

We decided to research claim #2: you can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days.

Step 1: we began with a nice juicy steak, a boneless T-bone.
We whacked off a hunk (and ate the rest, of course),
and placed the steak piece in a bowl
and dumped in enough Coke to fill the bowl.

Step 2: we checked on the steak piece after 12 hours.
It's still looking nice and pink and exactly the same size and shape
as it did when we first plunked it into the bowl.

Step 3: tick, tick, tick...after 24 hours the steak still looks the same,
nice and pink and ready for the barbecue.

Step 4: getting tired of the great steak experiment.
We've left the steak on the counter for an additional 24 hours now.
It doesn't smell yet, but it still looks just a good as it did two days ago.
No sign of deterioration, and it definitely has not disappeared.
We are concluding that this COKE FACT is wrong!

The next experiment was Coke Fact #3: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the john and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in the coke removes stains from vitreous China.

We found a toilet with a nice lime stain at the water level. Coke was poured into the bowl. We let it set for over an hour before flushing. The lime stain was still there, but now it wasn't the usual whitish color, it had become definitely Coke-colored, which is not an improvement at all.

We considered trying Coke Fact #4: To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola, but we couldn't find a car with a chrome bumper.

Conclusions: Coke Facts are a bunch of hooey! Yet another item for the Bunk File.

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