Clever Magazine What's In for 2004 (www.clevermag.com)

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What's in and What's Out
for 2004
by the Phantom

Thinking, thinking, thinking...

The view from the Phantom's Rose Garden hasn't changed much since last year. We have some new neighbors and lots of new squirrels and other urban wildlife. But that's the only wildlife around here, I'm afraid. So I've wracked my brain to figure out what's new. If I believed my spam, I would predict that large penises are in, as well as hot sluts and low mortgage rates. Fortunately, there are other sources. Here's what I've come up with:

What's Out

2003
Job security

Gray Davis

Carbos
Pilates

Rosie
Martha Stewart

Pit Bulls

Boots
Yoga
Psycho-therapy

Sit-coms

The Concord

Australia

Frequent flier mileage cards

Low gas prices
Sedans

Cell Phones

Real Christmas trees

Peace

What's In

2004
Unemployment checks (still in!)

The Terminator

Meat
Stripper poles

Dr. Phil
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Border Collies & Poodles

Flip-Flops for winter
Pilates
Massage therapy

Reality TV

TED

New Zealand

Frequent discount buyer cards

Large SUVs
PT Cruisers

Photo Cell Phones

Fiber optic fake ones

War (still!)