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I am not Dead

by Dane Zeller
 

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Dane writes fiction, mostly intended to be humorous. He has completed a detective novel, "Smart Shield," and is working on another titled "Deadly Soup." He has been published in Foliate Oak Literary Magazine, Hobo Pancakes, Defenestration, and has had an essay appear in the Kansas City Star. He and his wife live in Westwood, Kansas, slightly west of Kansas City. He hangs out at One Monkey Typing at www.danezeller.com


My attempt to recover my $9,000,000 after my death:

Dear Mr. Zeller,

We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD? Because we received a notification from one MR. GERSHON SHAPIRO of USA stating that you are DEAD and that you have giving him the right to claim your funds. He stated you died on a CAR accident.

But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE"

May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.

Your Faithfully,
Mrs.Farida Waziri

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mrs. Waziri,

I am so sorry I did not respond to you more quickly. As you can see by the written words in front of you that I am NOT dead, and I declare this GERSHON SHAPIRO to be a scoundrel and a rake. DO NOT give him a dime!

I want to thank you for your kind Christian thoughts, especially the one in which you wonder where I am now.

By the way, has Mr. SHAPIRO paid that little $125 transfer fee for the $9,000,000? It's the least he could do for me, based on his deplorable behavior.

I hope it is not too late.

Your Faithfully,

Dane Zeller

 

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