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The Dangerous Years

(an anonymous email)

room service please
Holiday Inn?


With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day
reaching $188.00, there is a better way to live when we get old and feeble. I have ascertained that I can get a nice long-term room at the Holiday Inn for around $65.00. That leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Most Holiday Inns have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer-dryer, and so forth and some even allow pets! Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast, though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.

There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the Senior Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs, and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch venues, take the Airport Bus and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will call an ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to Sue.

What more can you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts.

So, when I reach the Golden age,  
help me keep my grin.
 
Just check my old rickety ass
into the nearest Holiday Inn!


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