|
Wanna read the latest
from Clever Magazine? |
|
|
Bride, but not by Choice by Jonell Hoffman |
 |
|
Jonell Hoffman is retired and lives in Tyler, Texas, with her husband Ray. She was editor of her high school newspaper and wrote a column for her hometown newspaper. In the past she has typed medical textbooks and a personal novel for a doctor, but now she has a new novel in the works, “For The Love Of Annabel”, published by Infinity Publishing. She has written several short stories, and really enjoys writing stories about her childhood in the country. It may be noted that she has very low vision, and yet she continues to write. She does this to encourage others with handicaps.
Mornings in the backwoods of Arkansas are beautiful, but to some of
the residents, they are terribly boring and lonely. We
lived in a small wooden house about fifty miles southwest of Eureka
Springs, Arkansas, a good ways back in the woods where no one ever
traveled. The main road, if you really could call
it a road, was about ten miles to the south. It was red rock and
virtually impossible to travel on when wet. We did not attend school
after grade six because the middle school and high school were ten
more miles away, and it would take at least an hour to drive there
from our house plus another hour to drive home. Pa
felt that education was not that necessary cause he needed to keep us
at the homestead to do chores that were entirely too big to do even
for adults. Although we were small children, ages
two to thirteen, we still had to work. His excuse to the local
sheriff, when asked why we did not attend school, was that he did not
want to waste the gas taking us to school. Somehow
the sheriff went along with it.
When I reached the age of thirteen, Pa began talking about marriage to
me. The only way to get rid of another mouth to
feed was to marry them off. He had high hopes that
the man I married would be rich; that means to say he had a job that
gave him a paycheck each week, and then maybe he could cash in on some
of my husband’s money, maybe even have the rest of the family live on
his place and help with the upkeep. Well, you know
how happy that made me. Life was not real sweet for
a young girl in the backwoods of Arkansas, and leaving there was all I
could think of.
Once a month, Pa would prime the gas tank
with cans of gas we kept behind the barn and take the car to town for
supplies, and pick up mail order clothes we only ordered when we could
no longer wear ours cause of the holes that showed too much.
One particular trip found me in the local drugstore at the magazine
counter. My Pa would have strapped me if he knew I
was looking at them cause he believed they made me have daydreams of
things I could not have, which was just about everything.
In
one of the magazines, I found an advertisement for a lonely-hearts
club, men looking for wives. I thought this was
ridiculous, and that they must have been ugly men to have to order a
wife by mail. Just for fun, I jotted down the
address and stuck it in my old coat pocket to use later.
When we got back home, I put it under the mattress of my bed so
I could look at it when everyone was asleep. That
night I pulled the paper out and looked at the address thinking, why
not? What did I have to lose?
I
decided to answer the ad and send a little information about myself,
only just to see if I could get an answer. You
understand, I did this as a dare to myself, not that I was interested
in some old man who could not find himself a wife the normal way.
mailed the letter the next time we went to town with a
few cents I had saved from selling eggs to our neighbors.
I had completely forgotten about the
letter until one Saturday when Pa had taken us to town, and we stopped
by the post office to mail off payment for a bill. The
postmaster said we had a letter, but it was addressed to me. Pa
got suspicious and asked for the letter, which he promptly opened
without my permission. When he discovered that the
company wanted me to send a picture of myself, and they had had some
people interested in me, I thought this would be the day I would get
the worst strapping of my life and would never get to come to town
again. To my surprise, Pa even seemed a bit quicker
in his step at the thought someone was interested in marrying his
daughter and that meant future money to him. I was
so embarrassed at the scene he made in front of the postmaster. I
ran to the car swearing never to show my face again in that town. Pa
followed me to the car and insisted we go visit a cheap photography
booth in town for taking pictures and have one made of me. It cost
twenty-five cents for four pictures; the quality was absolutely
horrible, and he never even let me comb my hair before I took it. I
looked a bit wild with my big eyes and my hair flying everywhere, but
it was a good likeness to me. On the back of the
best one, I put my name, age and address. I hoped
deep in my heart that was the last I would see of that picture. Maybe
when they realized how young I was, they would say, “Just forget it,
honey”.
It was almost two months later when I
received another letter from the company telling me that a man
twenty-five years old in Memphis, Tennessee, had accepted me, and they
wanted us to set up a meeting with him at the local cafe. My
first impression was, “ No way Jose”, but the more I thought about it,
the more I thought of leaving this awful, lonely place and being able
to get away from my Pa.
We
sent another letter setting up a meeting time and place with this man
one week from that Saturday. It goes without
saying that I was scared to death. Why would a man,
age twenty-five, be interested in a kid from the backwoods of
Arkansas, that was only thirteen. Something just
did not make sense.
The following Saturday, during an
unscheduled trip to town; which cost my Pa an additional $3.43 for
gas, we went to meet this man. To my dismay, the
cafe was crowded that day, and it seemed everyone I knew was there. Maybe
someone had told them what was about to happen. I
wore the best dress I had, which I had to mend in two places, and a
pair of sandals my ma had bought for herself and were a size too big. At
least I had washed and combed my curly hair the best I could and even
took a bath. Of course, that was okay because it was a Saturday, and I
didn’t have to waste water. I just used the water
mom washed the clothes in.
We took a seat in the far corner of the
café so that we could observe any strangers entering the place.
After about ten minutes, a man with a large cowboy hat, plaid
flannel shirt and blue jeans came in the door, and I knew for sure he
was not a local. Oh my goodness, this was the man Pa would make me
marry!
My
Pa jumped up and yelled for him to come on over; I could have died of
embarrassment. The man smiled a big smile and came
to stand by me. I did not look him in the face as I
felt like my face was brilliant red from blushing, and he laughed a
big laugh and sat down. He started talking with Pa
just as though I was not there, and before I knew it he had made a
deal with Pa to marry me the following Sunday. They
had not even asked me if I wanted to marry! I
literally felt as if I had been sold like a slave.
I did not believe I was going to marry this man, and I did not even
know his name.
Pa
said he had to go make arrangements with the local minister, and left
me there with the man. Finally, I felt at least I
needed to look up at him and be friendly as I was going to be his
wife. When I did get up the courage to look up at
him, I saw the softest brown eyes and the sweetest smile I had ever
seen on any man. I thought to myself this could
not be that bad. At least he looked friendly
enough.
He introduced himself as John Sloan, and
that he owned a farm just outside of Memphis. We
began to talk to each other and before I knew it my Pa was back with
all the details of our wedding. We shook hands
with each other, he left in his truck, and I went home with Pa.
Then it hit me; I was about to marry a man I hardly knew, have his
kids, and live in his house. That was just too
much for me. I ran to the outside privy and threw
up my guts. When I pulled myself together, I went
back to the house to find my mother going through my things in my
bedroom. She was looking for clothes decent enough to take with me to
wear after the wedding. To my surprise, she had
pulled her own wedding dress out of mothballs for me to wear. It
smelled so bad from mothballs; we had to hang it on the old
clothesline in the backyard to air before I could try it on.
Was I living a nightmare? In one week I would leave
this home for good. Suddenly it did not look so
bad. At least I knew people in this town; I was near my family and had
plenty to eat and a place to sleep. What would the
place look like where I would spend the rest of my life? I
began to cry and cried myself to sleep that night. Pa
told Ma that it was only marriage jitters. Did he
not realize I was only thirteen?
It had been a busy week getting all my
things ready for the wedding. I was really pleased
it was so busy; the time just flew by, and I was not so worried. Ma
had packed a sack full of goodies for us to take on the trip back to
Memphis. She even included a homemade apple pie she
had prepared from the apples on the tree just outside the back door. John
should be pleased. I had no money to take with me,
but Pa said the man was probably rich and did not need my money
anyway. It suddenly dawned on me that they were
ready and willing to send me off with a man they did not know, to live
across the state from them, and forever. I must
have been dreaming. How could they be so cold since
I had done everything they ever wanted, and I was just a little girl.
We
arrived at the church before anyone else, and Ma marched me to the
back Sunday school room to “prepare me for the wedding”. I
thought she was going to advise me on the birds and the bees, but she
just made sure I looked decent. In all the rush, I
forgot to put on shoes. When we talked, she finally
mentioned that she would miss me. It was then I
realized she would only miss me because she would have to do my chores
and hers too. With three other kids, I guess she
would have her hands full.
About half an hour later John arrived
with a really nice looking woman who was dressed in store bought
clothes that looked really pretty. He introduced my
father to her and said she was his sister. It had
never dawned on me that I would have another whole family on the other
side of Arkansas. The church began to fill, I
wondered who had told them I was getting married, and that’s when the
piano began to play the wedding march. Ma and I ran around to the
front door of the church, and she walked in before me. Was
she my bridesmaid? What other surprises would I get
today?
When I looked to the front of the church I saw John. He
really looked nice in his suit and black tie, and the smile on his
face put me at ease right away. If I had only known he was smiling
cause I forgot my shoes. I was really lucky he was
not a mean man that was really ugly.
Following the ceremony, we had a little get together in the back room. People
had brought a cake and some finger foods, all which looked foreign to
me. I even had to ask what finger food was.
Why give sandwiches such a fancy name? John’s
sister got my attention and motioned she wanted to talk with me. We
took a walk in the backyard of the church, which I welcomed. She
was really nice and smelled good too.
She tried to put my nerves at rest as she told me of the farm I would
be living on in Memphis. To my surprise, it was
really a ranch with cattle, horses and acres of planted gardens. The
house was large, but I did not have to keep it clean.
I would have servants for all the chores. I
had a cook and stable hands too. All this was just
too much information for me. I began to cry, and
she mistook my cries as happiness and not fear. At
that moment Ma appeared and said everyone was looking for me to cut
the cake.
After all the festivities were over, John
took my hand very gently and led me to the truck, placed my suitcase
in the back, and our lunch behind the front seat.
He lifted me ever so gently into the seat, and kissed me sweetly on
the lips. “Are you ready, Mrs. Sloan? “ Indeed I
was ready to leave. Ma, Pa and the kids waved
good-by and from that moment on my life had changed for the better.
Memphis was nothing like I had imagined. After
living in the country with the largest town near us with only one
hundred fifty people, it was a true shock. When we arrived, and I
noticed there were bridges over rivers, skyscrapers, and fast-food
restaurants with shopping galore, I knew I had made the right
decision. John mentioned that when I was settled I
would need to shop for new clothes and accessories. Accessories? I
didn’t know what he meant. His sister realized this
fact later on and helped me make decisions.
That evening when dinner was ready, I was shocked to see the dining
room where we would eat. The room itself was as big as our whole house
at home. I had just found a bathroom connected to
my bedroom, and it was actually inside the house and you didn’t have
to walk down a path out past the garden to go, and I had to be
instructed on how to flush. I was truly a country
girl going to the big city.
John’s
parents were there that evening, and I am sure they were shocked at my
age. They were very pleasant though, and tried to
make me feel comfortable in such a new place. I
noticed his mother kept looking at the best dress I owned like she
wanted to throw it away, but that would soon change.
After John’s parents had left, we went to
our bedroom to “get to know each other a little better”. John
was so sweet. He reassured me that he had his own
bedroom and would not enter mine until I was ready. He
knew I was young and would like me to finish school before there was a
“true” marriage. I was so happy I started crying,
and he consoled me so sweetly that I could not imagine living with
anyone else for the rest of my life. I had a great
husband, a beautiful house with everything I needed, and eventually
all the friends I needed.
I finished high school in Memphis and went to one year of college
before I became mother of twin girls, Rebecca and Ruth (just like in
the Bible). I do see my family now and then, but
they prefer to live in the mountains of Arkansas.
|
|