Clever Magazine, Spring '05 " A Rabbit's Tail " (www.clevermag.com)

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A Rabbit’s Tail

as told to Helen von Ammon

     I am a white Angora rabbit about five years old. My habitat is the kitchen of a small ‘condo’ (whatever that is) which I share with an ancient person. Her name is something like Hellion, Ellen, Melon - I can’t figure it out so I’ll just keep saying “she.”
     Out of my cage all day, I stretch on the wooden floor my full length of about thirty inches. After my lunch, almost every day she picks me up, takes me to another room. Lying on her back atop a soft nest-like thing, she places me on top of her chest. As she strokes my white fur, it feels very good, but I never close my eyes which she says are red. I watch, never knowing whether she’s going to put me atop a towel in her lap for combing which takes off my soft fur which she spins into yarn. That’s the part I don’t like but I hold still when she gives me apple leaves or long skinny bamboo leaves. As long as the leaves keep coming I try to sit still but it always takes too long!
     She combs so much fur from my coat I can see my naked, pink skin. I wonder what she expects to find when she looks in my ears, my teeth and my rear end! - seems like I should have SOME privacy. But I hold still as long as I can. Then I squirm and she feeds me those leaves I told you about.
     I miss the view of the whole world when I lived on the deck of our big house. Then we moved to this small habitat. Bummer! I was put in a big cage in the kitchen. But that’s better than being put in the bathroom, or, horrors! into the hassenpfeffer pot - if you get my drift.
     We play a fun game almost very day. She calls out, “NaKoo, watch me throw this peanut - can you find it on the kitchen floor?” I’d like to tell her, “I’m no dummy, just THROW it! If my eyes can’t see a peanut in the shell, my nose will find it.” My other fav treat is hard bread. Chomping on it is wonderfully noisy.
     Sometimes as she strokes my soft white fur, the end of my nose goes up and down and my eyes never leave her face. Although we’ve done this a zillion times I’m still wary, but, it’s nice and cozy for a while. If I’m bored I get sprung by acting antsy, wiggling my nose faster, as if I need to “go.” To avoid an “accident,” quickly she takes me back to the kitchen and my newspaper-lined litter tray. When I’m bored I scratch and chew the newspapers. She hates the mess! .
      All I have to do is grow soft, white Angora fur. I lick my coat very often. If she didn’t comb it off, the fur would make a big ball in my stomach. That would be sayonara for this bun. All things considered, I have a good life.