Clever Magazine, Vol II, Issue # 1 "Happy Anniversary " (www.clevermag.com)

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Celebrating Clever's 1st Anniversary!
Here's a collection of anecdotes, updates, jokes, poetry and photos from writers that Clever featured in 1998/99. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who made a contribution to Clever.

A note from Joyce Wade, author of last month's travel essay, the Durango train trip...Congratulations on your First Anniversary! Clevermag.com is a shining star as far as e-zines go. What makes it different is it's almost like picking up a "real" magazine, with features of varying interests. Pictures, recipes, stories and articles, you name it, you may find it all there. Over a hundred hits a day is a great achievement and I'm sure an indication of more to come. I appreciate the exposure on my story submissions, thanks for a great year, Dianne. Best Wishes as you enter Year Number Two, Joyce Wade

According to Judie Thomas, "Aloha-land remains to me the most romantic spot on Earth."

Hawaiian Love Story:
an update

by Judith Thomas

The balmy, flower scented breezes still caress me, now more often in the yard of my hillside home where I spend many hours working among my collection of fruit trees, orchids, and blooming plants. The waves still roll in from a vivid blue horizon, but now I visit them at the Ko Olina resort, because it's only a short four miles from my garage. The youth still dive off the high rock at Waimea Bay, but now I only watch them from the beach and sometimes I feel like the oldest person there.

You see, my personal Hawaiian love story took place in 1960, and now my beach boy is attending the "ultimate reunion" in Heaven. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in September of 1997 and left us in January of l998. Fortunately, he left me with ample monetary protection, a beautiful home, three wonderful children and two active grandchildren that keep me young.

Long before he left us, I mastered the Pidgin-English that had so mystified me when I met him and his friends on the beach in l960. I even mastered eating raw fish and poi, snorkeling amongst reef animals, dodging flying cockroaches, sometimes being the "whitest" female at a party, and raising three children 2,000 miles from my own family in Oregon. Many of my best friends are of different ethnic backgrounds and that is one of my favorite things about living in Hawaii. One church cell group that we were part of for years had people from eight different countries! Can I list them? They were: Switzerland, Australia, Philippines, Surinam, Korea, Holland, Taiwan, and of course the United States.

Now I busy myself with these friends and my family. I grab every opportunity to travel with them and I take part in a lot of the same activities today that I shared with Dondi. It is also a great pleasure for me to be able to help others in many ways. Just this week I have been occupied with helping a lady friend who was just diagnosed with almost the same condition that my husband had. If I am alone, my pets, clevermag, a good book and my chats with the Lord comfort me. Also, my conscience nags at me to exercise as often as possible, whether it be at the gym, walking the dog, slaving in the yard or doing heavy housework. But rest assured, there are thousands of additional "Hawaiian Love Stories" being lived out every day in Aloha-land, because it remains to me the most romantic spot on Earth. Aloha, Judie

Experience by John T. Baker

If I could live my life again,
Now that I know the score,
I then could make the same mistakes
Much faster than before.

(John has contributed several poems to recent issues of Clever, and he is also a contributor to Sonata Magazine and the WREX pages. Thanks, John!)

Here's a little something from Jack Fox, who with his partner, The Phantom, is celebrating the
First Sequence Championship.

A LOAN

A man was praying to God. He said, "God!?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead," God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
"Hmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is as a penny."
So the man said, "God. can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said, "Sure!...just a second."

That's an old Cadillac in the background

Here's a photo of my good friends Carol & Harvey. Their story, The Competition, appears in this month's issue of Clever.

What to do after The Wedding
by Thelma Gray

In the spring, my night dreams (nightmares?) were filled with worrying about what catastrophe might happen during the June marriage of our daughter. When my paid research job was given over to calls to the florist and classical flutar players (flute and guitar), I begged for a couple months' leave of absence to pursue full-time wedding planning. Because we were playing host to the out-of-town relatives, my husband and I had a mountain of yardwork and housework to accomplish. Although an outdoor wedding was planned at a nearby restaurant, our house would be the location for the rehearsal dinner, the bridesmaids' meeting place, and a Sunday brunch, plus a week of sightseeing for the Oregon guests following the wedding.

The last few weeks were filled with the realization that all these people were really going to descend upon us. There were drawers and cupboards to be cleaned, closets rearranged, new countertops installed, new linens purchased, flowers planted and lists upon lists of things that needed to be done. And of course, every mother-of-the-bride must spend hours wrapping little chocolates with cute sayings in netting just two days before the event. All the work paid off with a beautiful wedding, smiling bride and groom, and proud parents.

So, now there is this massive quietness around the house. The newlyweds have gone back to North Carolina, the houseguests are back in Oregon, the petunias are wilting, and who really needs to clean this house. It's time to get out the vacation planner.

Thelma & Chet!

Chet, who supplies a great deal of Clever's humor, and Thelma have regained their composure, their sense of humor and after the final bills from the caterer are paid, will probably need a nice, long vacation -- perhaps like the one they wrote about last year in Clever.

And here's a cute photo of Jane Starbird's dogs. Last year Jane wrote about her trip up the Amazon and to Peru. Her son Chris wrote about spearing turtles in Indonesia. Clever hopes to hear from both of them again this coming year. (PS. In her next life, The Phantom wants to come back as one of Jane's dogs.)

Good Dog!
Hi Jack, Hi Patty! Nice doggie.
(FYI: they are border collies and they just love to herd things!)

Okay! okay! Here's some bumper-sticker humor from Chet:

Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends.
I'm an imbecile and I vote.
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
All men are idiots...I married their king.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

(Thanks, Chet, what would we do without you!)

Aloha for now!
Can't forget to thank the family.
Thanks, guys! Way to go...

And Thanks, everybody. Now, let's get back to work.

Some people feel like they need to go for the most beautiful engagement rings they can get their hands on when getting ready to pop the question. Truth is you can get diamond rings for the one you love without having to spend so much money on an engagement ring. Believe it or not you can find a diamond ring that is more than reasonably priced by shopping online considering the markup wedding rings can have.