Clever Magazine, Vol IV, #9, "The Circus" www.clevermag.com

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The Circus

by Zaphra Reskakis

I wanna go to the circus!

When I was three I wanted to go to the circus. I did not go to the circus. When I was four I really wanted to go to the circus. I did not go to the circus. By the time I was five I yearned to see the clowns, the elephants, the people flying in the air cried and begged to go to the circus to see for myself what all my friends were talking about. I did not go to the circus. By the time I was seven, I was mad at Jesus Christ because it was his fault that I could not go to the circus. It was just too bad that he was suffering; I could not see how it would help him if I did not go to the circus.

The circus always came to town in March. Invariably they came in, put up their big tents and brought all their acts. But, they came during Lent. My mother observed Lent for forty days every year. I ate no meat for forty days and my mother ate only fruits and vegetables. In the final week of Lent my mother made sure that I also fasted from everything

In addition, in observance of Lent, I could not play records, or dance or sing or listen to the radio. I could not go to the movies, no less the circus. Had I been a Harlem Globetrotter's fan, I would not be able to see them either, because the team came into New York during Lent. Also, I know my mother felt that Christ suffered and died for our sins but I sometimes thought about the circus I had missed again and wondered how my not going to the circus would make Christ feel better.

My mother and I went to church for endless hours every Friday and Sunday during Lent. During the final week of Lent, from Palm Sunday on we went to church every night and even some days as well if there was a service. Since, sometimes the service cut into dinner, my mom would bring crackers, salted fish roe (which was Lenten for some reason), olives, fruits and vegetables and water, lots of water for me to have during the sermon.

My dad sang and danced and ate his way throughout the Lenten season. He did not abstain from anything nor did he go to church except on Saturday night for the resurrection. My mother prayed for my father's damned soul at every opportunity.

Before we left for church on Saturday night, my mother would scream at my father not to do what he had done one previous year. That stellar year, dad had become exasperated with the priest because it was 12:15 and he had not conducted the resurrection yet. Dad yelled out, "It's 12:15 you bearded devil. Are you blind? As well as greedy and stupid. Resurrect him."

The priest shouted through clenched teeth, "My son, there is no set time. The bible does not say midnight I will conduct the resurrection as I see fit ."

My dad continued mumbling and grumbling about the sunnama bitch priest and my mother put her right fist into her mouth and bit the knuckles until they bled. She crossed herself, turned red with embarrassment and genuflected, beseeching God, 'Forgive him, he knows not what he does.' I cowered. My father never repeated his performance but then again the priest resurrected Christ at midnight every other year.

My mother would fast from everything including water all day on Holy Saturday and would take communion after the midnight mass. The mass would end at about two in the morning two in the morning and we would come home from church. We would try to carry our lit candles home. It is considered good luck to bring home the light of the resurrection.

Dad would aggravate my mother by lighting a cigarette for a "Holy smoke" as he put it. He then lit the oven from a match lit from his cigarette. He said that this was making sure of good luck.

Some years we would go to friend's homes and some years we would bring at least ten guests to our house. We would have the traditional breaking of the Easter eggs. The egg that broke all the others was the lucky egg and was kept from year to year. (What a stench when the lucky egg sprang a leak or fell and broke after a few months or years.)

After the egg breaking, we dug into the feast. The table groaned with all the food. We feasted on mayeritsa, an egg lemon, entrails, tripe, and dill soup which is made only at Easter, and all kinds of appetizers including, cheese puffs and spinach pie, marinated roast leg of lamb, lemon oregano potatoes, artichokes with oil and oregano, Athenian string beans, Easter bread, and wine, beer or Cokes. Next to the silver coffee and tea servers on the coffee table were custard-filled filo pastry, Greek butter and confectionery sugar cookies, baklava, French pastries, cream puffs, home made chocolate rum balls and much, much more.

We groaned as much as the table at the midnight fast. Everyone enjoyed the feast to break the fast. On Easter Sunday everybody, except my father, had a bad case of diarrhea because we all feasted too much after having fasted for so long.

When I was sixteen, I wanted to go to the circus. I went, during Lent, with my Greek fiancé. I never told my mother that I went to the circus, but I
felt guilty for many years.