The thing that always bothers me about the real book awards like the Pulitzer and the National, and all the rest that I can't remember the names of, is that the competition is based on yearly publication. If two brilliant books get published in the same year, one loses out and the other becomes a classic.  The next year maybe no outstanding books are published, but some book usually wins the prize anyhow, even though it very well might be an inferior book compared to the previous year's losers. 

So I've decided to create a different kind of book award. This one is based on my own reading experience. I read lots of books every year. I usually try to read the good ones that I hear about as they are published, but I also read older books too, because I belong to two reading groups that don't choose reading material solely based on how many copies a book has sold. One group even reads rather old and dusty classics occasionally.

At the end of every reading year, usually in September, I think about my past year's reading list as I get ready to figure out what to read next. Some are memorable. These will become the candidates for the Clever Awards, which will be judged and awarded by the Clever Book Awards committee. In fact, the committee has met. Here are the winners for the 1999 reading year.

Best work of fiction:  Cold Mountain, by  Charles Frazier
Runner-up: Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
In consideration:  On the Occasion of My Last Afternoon, Kay Gibbons;
Moon Tiger, Penelope Lively; Memoirs of a Geisha, Arthur Golden

Best travel writing:  A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson
Runner-up: Pillars of Hercules, Paul Theroux

Best war novel:  Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Runner-up: The Reader, Bernard Schlink

Best non-fiction or biography: Red Tails in Love, Marie Winn

Best spy thriller: Charm School, Nelson DeMille

Best mystery:  N is for Noose, Sue Grafton

Best Classic (that I only read part of but even so I'm a better person for it) award: Ulysses, James Joyce

The Pure Drivel Awards:

Worst fiction of the year: A cup of tea, Amy Ephron

Worst mystery of the year: Hornet's nest, Patricia Cornwell

Worst Non-fiction of the year: Pure Drivel, Steve Martin

Clever has created a new awards category that we're affectionately calling the Pure Drivel Awards. It's not that we're looking for bad books, there's no need to because we stumble over them every day. Some are such unqualified standouts that they beg to be chosen. This was the case with the Steven Martin book. We figure he invented the award by writing this book, so it was only fitting that he should be the first to receive the Pure Drivel Award. 

But we couldn't let Amy Ephron's book off the hook. After reading it, the book club was certain the only publishing consideration in Amy's case was the fact that her last name was Ephron. Additionally, Amy had the temerity to tack on a list of reading group discussion questions at the end. We certainly wouldn't want to be in a group that needed that kind of help. 

Wanna see the Clever Magazine Book Awards for: 2000, 2001? Just click on the year!

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